So here it is……my first blog post!! *squeals excitedly*
I’ve made an active decision this year that I am going to try and build a better relationship with God! It’s been a very hectic few years for me and God has been one of those things that has just taken a ‘backseat’ in my life. So how did I come to this decision and where am I starting from…?
As I’ve said in my intro, I’ve been going to church for around 13 years now and I have found that my faith has become a bit stale. I came to church through our local youth group. My wonderful next door neighbour, and childhood best friend, invited me along one night and that was the start of my journey to finding God.
I came to a church in St. Neots called Open Door Church and continued to go to the youth group. I became closer and closer to God through my teenage years and even became a part of our Youth Team and started to guide young people through their own journey with God.
I started to distance myself from church, as so many young people do, when I left to go to university. I went to the University of Northampton for three years to study Primary Education. I got sucked into the ‘lifestyle’ that goes with university. I drunk a lot, had my share of ‘nights I’d rather forget’ and probably didn’t work half as hard as I could have done. I never found a church that I really wanted to go to and I only tried the Christian Union a handful of times. When I went home to my church in St. Neots, I felt very much ‘out of the loop’ and almost felt too ashamed of all the things I had done at university. I felt as though I didn’t deserve to be there.
After a few rocky relationships and finishing university, I decided to get back into church. Unfortunately, I never really threw myself into my faith again because I had this overwhelming feeling of guilt about my behaviour at university. I would go to church, every Sunday, but just being in church isn’t enough. It needs to be about engaging with the worship, listening to the talks and being present. It’s also not just about a Sunday morning, and as far as I was concerned, I didn’t really let God into my life on every other day of the week.
So this is where I met my husband to be; or should I say, started to see him in a different way. We’d known each other from being on the youth team for several years and had been good acquaintances but never really friends. I was finally happy being by myself and trying to trust God with my future, and that’s when He brought Jeremy back into my life. Jez was very similar to me in his walk with God. We both went to church, we were both Christians, we both attended our weekly Small Group session, but apart from that, we didn’t really talk about God, pray together or worship together. We were part time Christians.
And that brings us up to date! Sorry for the massive back story; apparently I can waffle rather a lot (another skill I learnt at university). So I’ve decided that 2019 is going to be the year that I play an active part in my relationship with God. It can’t all be one sided. If I constantly talked to Jez, made jokes with him, went on walks with him, listened to him and he did NONE of those things for me, we wouldn’t have a relationship! I’ve realised that it’s the same with God. He needs a bit of give and take. I mean – He loves us unconditionally, that’s the wonderful thing about God, but I can’t expect this empowering and life changing relationship if I don’t give anything back.
I hope that you enjoy my waffle and thoughts from my brain. I just want to write to process my thoughts and hopefully help some people on their own walks with God.
Speak to you all soon xx