If you’ve read my other posts, you’ll know that 2019 is the year I have decided I need to make more of an effort with God. Well I’m afraid to say I MAY have had a minor oops today!
Today was the day we had decided to start going to church on a more regular basis to help us become closer to God. What actually happened, is we stayed home, spent time with each other, had a shower, tidied the house and just generally had a bit of a lazy day. However…….. not church! And I think that may have been down to one vital error on our part as man and wife. We hadn’t actually decided which church we were going to and found ourselves at a bit of a crossroads.
As I’ve said in a previous post, I’ve been a part of Open Door Church for many, many years. I’ve been going since I became a Christian through the youth work and it’s all I’ve ever really known in terms of church. But I’ve recently been struggling with a number of things at the church. I don’t want to go into too much detail but the talks are very long and I struggle to pay attention, I have a little to poor relationship with the church leader and I don’t feel like the church has helped me to grow as a Christian for a long time. Of course, part of that is what I put into it as well, I’m well aware of that, but several things in our lives have been handled poorly by the church and that’s hard to get over.
However, it’s not that simple. The majority of our church family and people we care about all belong to Open Door. We’ve spent years building up relationships through Youth Team, Small Groups, social time. Admittedly those friendships would survive without us being involved in the church, but I don’t think it’s enough for friendships to survive. We have a host of friends all going through tough times and they need family and true friends around them. We love to host people at our home, cook them dinner, play games together and just spend time together. Not being part of the church and not attending Small Group would take a huge dent of that time out.
A few months ago, we started attending Woodside Church in Bedford. It’s a bit more of a drive for us to get to but the church as a whole was very welcoming. The pastor used to run Open Door and so we already have a good relationship with him. The talks are short and engaging, the worship doesn’t sing the same song for too long, the kids work is exciting for my step-daughter and everyone is really friendly. In terms of what we would be looking for in a church, it has everything we would need to help us grow closer to God. So why am I still reluctant to take the plunge away from Open Door? The idea of starting years worth of friendships again, from scratch, with a whole new range of people is scary!! To be honest, it scares the crap out of me…..
So here’s our crossroad. Do we make more of an effort to engage with what Open Door is doing so that we can love, care for and support the people in our lives who are basically family? Or do we risk starting again so that we can grow ourselves and try to actively more closer to God? Can we still move closer to God by staying at Open Door? Can we build life long friendships in a new place? I don’t actually know……
I feel as though there is a slightly more serious tone to this post but I feel better for having written it! If you’re visiting as someone who prays, please keep us in your thoughts as we try to find where God wants us and what His plan for us is.
Hopefully we’ll figure it out by next Sunday so we can actually go to church!!
Speak to you soon xxx